The Thunder, Perfect Mind
adapted from the translation by Hal TaussigI was sent out from power.
I came to those pondering me, and I was found among those seeking me.
Look at me, you who contemplate me.
Hearers, hear me.
Those expecting me, receive me—
Don’t chase me from your view.
Don’t let your voice or your hearing hate me.
Don’t ignore me: any place, any time.
Be careful. Don’t ignore me.
I am the first and the last.
I am she who is honored and she who is mocked.
I am the whore and the holy woman.
I am the wife and the virgin.
I am he, the mother and the daughter.
I am the limbs of my mother.
I am a sterile woman and she has many children.
I am she whose wedding is extravagant and I didn’t have a husband.
I am the midwife and she who hasn’t given birth.
I am the comfort of my labor pains.
I am the bride and the groom, and it is my husband who gave birth to me
I am my father’s mother, my husband’s sister, and he is my child.
I am the slavewoman of him who served me
I am she, the lord of my child, but it is he who gave birth to me at the wrong time, and he is my child born at the right time, and my power is from within him.
I am the staff of his youthful power, and he is the baton of my old womanhood.
Whatever he wants happens to me.
I am the silence never found and the idea infinitely recalled.
I am the voice with countless sounds and the thousand guises of the word.
I am the speaking of my name.
You who loathe me, why do you love me and loathe the ones who love me?
You who deny me, confess me.
You who confess me, deny me.
You who speak the truth about me, lie about me
You who lie about me, speak the truth about me
You who know me, ignore me
You who ignore me, know me
I am awareness and I am obliviousness
I am humiliation and I am pride
I am without shame and I am ashamed
I am security and I am fear
I am war and I am peace
Pay attention to me.
I am she who is disgraced and she who is important
Pay attention to me,
to my impoverishment and to my extravagance
Do not be arrogant to me when I am thrown to the ground
You will find me among the expected
Do not stare at me in that shit pile, leaving me discarded
You will find me in the kingdoms
Do not stare at me when I am thrown out among the condemned
Do not laugh at me in the lowest places
Do not throw me down among those slaughtered viciously
I myself am compassionate and I am cruel
Watch out!
Do not hate my compliance and do not love my restraint
In my weakness do not strip me bare
Do not be afraid of my power
Why do you despise my fear and curse my pride?
I am she who exists in all fears and in trembling boldness.
I am she who is timid and I am safe in a comfortable place.
I am witless and I am wise.
Why did you hate me with your schemes?
I shall shut my mouth among those whose mouths are shut, and then I will show up and speak
Why then did you hate me, you?
Because I am a barbarian among barbarians?
I am the wisdom of the citizens and the knowledge of the barbarians.
I am the deliberation of both the citizens and barbarians.
I am he whose image is multiple in Egypt and she who is without an image among the barbarians.
I am she who was hated in every place, and she who was loved in every place
I am she whom they call life, and you all called death
I am she whom they call law, and you all called lawlessness
I am she whom you chased, and she whom you captured
I am she who you scattered, and you have gathered me together
I am she before whom you were ashamed, and you have been shameless to me
I am she who does not celebrate festivals and I am she whose festivals are spectacular
I—
I am without God, and I am she whose divinity is magnificent
I am he the one you thought about and you detested me
I am not learnéd, and they learn from me
I am she whom you detested and yet you think about me
I am he from whom you hid and you appear to me
Whenever you hide yourselves, I myself will appear
For … you … I ... myself … you … me ...
Receive me with understanding and heartache
Take me from the disgraced and crushed places
Rob from those who are good, even though in disgrace
Bring me in shame, to yourselves, out of shame
With or without shame
Blame the parts of me within yourselves
Come toward me, you who know me and you who know the parts of me
Assemble the great among the small and earliest creatures
Advance toward childhood
Do not hate it because it is small and insignificant
Don’t reject the small parts of greatness because they are small
Since smallness is recognized from within greatness
Why do you curse me and revere me?
You wounded me and you relented
Don’t separate me from the first ones
Throw away no one …
Turn away no …
I am the learning from my search, and the discovery of those seeking me
The command of those who ask about me and the power of powers in my understanding of the angels who were sent on my word and the Gods in God, according to my design?
And spirits of all men who exist with me, and the women who live in me.
I am she who is revered and adored and she who is reviled with contempt
I am peace and war exists because of me
I am a foreigner and a citizen of the city
I am being and I am she who is nothing
Those who do not participate in my presence, don’t know me
Those who share in my being, know me
Those who are close to me, did not know me
Those who are far from me, knew me
I am control and the uncontrollable
I am the coming together and the falling apart
I am the enduring and the disintegration
I am down in the dirt and they come up to me
I am judgment and acquittal
I myself am without sin, and the root of sin is from within me
I appear to be lust but inside is self-control
I am what anyone can hear but no one can say
I am one who does not speak and my words are endless
Hear me in tenderness, learn from me in roughness
I am she who shouts out and I am thrown down on the ground
I am the one who prepares the bread and my mind within
I am the knowledge of my name
I am she who shouts and it is I that listens
I am she they call truth and violation …
You honor me … and you whisper against me
You conquered ones: judge them before they judge you, because the judge and favoritism exist in you.
If he condemns you, who will release you?
If he releases you, who can detain you?
Since what is your inside is your outside, and the one who shapes your outside is he who shaped your inside, and what you see on the outside, you see revealed on the inside. It is your clothing.
Hear me hearers, and learn from my words, you who know me.
I am what everyone can hear and no one can say.
I am the name of the sound of the name.
I am the sign of writing and the disclosure of difference.
Listen then, listeners, and also you angels, along with those who have been sent and spirits who have risen from among the dead.
For I am he who exists alone and no one judges me.
Since many sweet ideas exist in all kinds of sin, uncontrollable and condemning passions and passing pleasures that people have until they become sober and go up to their resting place. And they will find me in that place. They will live and they will not die again.